I recently moved to a new workstation to work more closely with my team. I used to sit beside my boss' room, so I thought, well it wouldn't hurt sending him an email about my little migration.
So I fired out a mail, "I have moved to so and so, will catch up with you later!"
"Take care! hope someone better looking takes up your spot :-)", he replied.
". . ."
*待会儿去刮他的车*
Showing posts with label Own Events. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Own Events. Show all posts
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Do You Want MC Ah?
Undisclosed location, Seremban 09:45
"Is it bad?", words shot out like darts from a dart gun. Worried thoughts raced through my mind like sprinters speeding round a race track.
"What do you think? Try shooting yourself in the arms and a few more in your thighs . . .", Agent K cursed. K was badly wounded from Operation Yoga the day before. We had to wait till the sun came up for the medic to arrive.
I looked up and saw the sun hung steadily upon the backdrop blue sky.
"Come on, let's go see the doc", I said as I carefully carried her to our vehicle.
Undisclosed Clinic, Seremban. 10:30
The medic operated in the cover of a General Practitioner in a typical, non elegant, no frills clinic. We went in to find the person at the counter giving us a wink. We winked back 2 times long, 2 times short. It was the agency's secret code. 2 longs and 2 shorts means "we need help now, but we can still tahan". 3 longs and 5 shorts means "cure me now or I'll shoot your brains out". We avoided the latter, choosing peace over violence.
We were told to wait, so as to not blow our cover. We had to wait like any other patients. It was enlightening that we did, as we stumbled upon the greatest ethical standards in medical history.
Medic's Room. 11:24
"What's your problem?", the medic uttered with his eyes locked to his computer screen. The medic was a young lad, late 20s with short hair and was rather well built. He had that cunning smirk on his face that gave you the "please hit me hard here on my left cheek, then right cheek, then forehead" lure.
"Gun shot wounds", K replied calmly, ignoring the inviting impression on his face.
"Okay, any allergies to meds?", words came out like a printing machine churning out prints, bet he recited the same script dozens of times every single day.
"No", K said.
"Headaches?", another print.
"I was shot 8 times MISTER crab brain, what do you think?", I could see it on K's face. But she played nice, "No".
"Slept well?", yet another one.
"!@#$%&$^#*@($*$&#", it showed on K's fists this time. Yet again she played nice, "No".
"你是什么人？(translation: What people are you?. Meaning: what race/dialect group are you from) ", the medic showed no signs of getting any signals from K.
"我是病人(translation: I'm a sick person/patient. Meaning: You nak kena hantam #&#@^@%^ ???)", K gave a vicious look and a murderous stare.
"HA HA HA", the medic finally looked up, not realizing that it was no joke. He stopped when he caught K's stare and was immediately silenced.
The day, ended surprisingly peacefully without bloodshed. The medic managed to prevent a catastrophe by a mere suspension of his craps.
Before leaving the medic's room, he pleasantly asked, "Do you want MC ah?".
"Is it bad?", words shot out like darts from a dart gun. Worried thoughts raced through my mind like sprinters speeding round a race track.
"What do you think? Try shooting yourself in the arms and a few more in your thighs . . .", Agent K cursed. K was badly wounded from Operation Yoga the day before. We had to wait till the sun came up for the medic to arrive.
I looked up and saw the sun hung steadily upon the backdrop blue sky.
"Come on, let's go see the doc", I said as I carefully carried her to our vehicle.
Undisclosed Clinic, Seremban. 10:30
The medic operated in the cover of a General Practitioner in a typical, non elegant, no frills clinic. We went in to find the person at the counter giving us a wink. We winked back 2 times long, 2 times short. It was the agency's secret code. 2 longs and 2 shorts means "we need help now, but we can still tahan". 3 longs and 5 shorts means "cure me now or I'll shoot your brains out". We avoided the latter, choosing peace over violence.
We were told to wait, so as to not blow our cover. We had to wait like any other patients. It was enlightening that we did, as we stumbled upon the greatest ethical standards in medical history.
What was the definition of "sick enough"? Agent K was shot 3 times in the arms and 5 in the thighs. I fathom that was "enough" enough.
We couldn't demand for an MC. Well, fair enough. But how was the medic gonna judge? What if he insisted that K had to get back to work the next day in bandages and stitches?
We couldn't demand for the duration of the MC. Well, again, if the medic was a loser, he'd give a 2 hour MC to K.
Seeing the medic did not automatically qualify for an MC. Well yeah, you've gotta be sick enough, remember?
We had to be in the clinic in the morning, before lunch. Phew it was 11:05. What if K came in with 8 bullet holes at 12:01?
"No no, tengok ini, before lunch time la, come back besok", I imagined the counter saying that and slammin' down the blinds.
MC could be refused if you came in at night. Goes back to the above, before lunch time rule.
We couldn't demand for an MC. Well, fair enough. But how was the medic gonna judge? What if he insisted that K had to get back to work the next day in bandages and stitches?
We couldn't demand for the duration of the MC. Well, again, if the medic was a loser, he'd give a 2 hour MC to K.
Seeing the medic did not automatically qualify for an MC. Well yeah, you've gotta be sick enough, remember?
We had to be in the clinic in the morning, before lunch. Phew it was 11:05. What if K came in with 8 bullet holes at 12:01?
"No no, tengok ini, before lunch time la, come back besok", I imagined the counter saying that and slammin' down the blinds.
MC could be refused if you came in at night. Goes back to the above, before lunch time rule.
Medic's Room. 11:24
"What's your problem?", the medic uttered with his eyes locked to his computer screen. The medic was a young lad, late 20s with short hair and was rather well built. He had that cunning smirk on his face that gave you the "please hit me hard here on my left cheek, then right cheek, then forehead" lure.
"Gun shot wounds", K replied calmly, ignoring the inviting impression on his face.
"Okay, any allergies to meds?", words came out like a printing machine churning out prints, bet he recited the same script dozens of times every single day.
"No", K said.
"Headaches?", another print.
"I was shot 8 times MISTER crab brain, what do you think?", I could see it on K's face. But she played nice, "No".
"Slept well?", yet another one.
"!@#$%&$^#*@($*$&#", it showed on K's fists this time. Yet again she played nice, "No".
"你是什么人？(translation: What people are you?. Meaning: what race/dialect group are you from) ", the medic showed no signs of getting any signals from K.
"我是病人(translation: I'm a sick person/patient. Meaning: You nak kena hantam #&#@^@%^ ???)", K gave a vicious look and a murderous stare.
"HA HA HA", the medic finally looked up, not realizing that it was no joke. He stopped when he caught K's stare and was immediately silenced.
The day, ended surprisingly peacefully without bloodshed. The medic managed to prevent a catastrophe by a mere suspension of his craps.
Before leaving the medic's room, he pleasantly asked, "Do you want MC ah?".
Friday, June 27, 2008
Syok and Awe
D-1 Day
Home. 23:44
"It's ready", a cold, synthesized, mechanical voice came in hard on my ears. Sound waves echoed violently in my head, bouncing off my brain cavity causing tremors that rocked me hard, back into reality. I hung up my cell and stared out blank.
"It is time", I heard myself saying. It was an eerily dark and warm night. But chills from within me made me shiver, because the end was just around the corner.
D-Day
Secret Armory Warehouse, Somewhere out of town. 08:00
The gates to the armory were tall but rusty, painting the impression of an old abandoned warehouse . I flashed my secret agent badge to a uniform in cigarettes. He opened the gates with a push of the button, barely looking at my face.
"So much for top security", I murmured.
" Trop, trop, trop", the motorized gates opened ridiculously slowly like an ancient drawbridge. It was an utter challenge of my patience. I tapped my feet impatiently on the ground.
"I've waited for days, I can wait another 20 seconds . . .", I consoled myself.
"Eh, sabar lah", the guard saw through my facial expression.
I could only return a fake smile.
"Sakit perut lah, boleh cepat sikit", I was surprised with my impromptu ingenuity in making up stories.
I took the lift down 19th levels. It was a secret facility after all. They say the deeper you get the better chances you get from evading enemy detection. The lift cranked all the way down. Perhaps it was time they greased the chains a little. The descent came to an abrupt stop, jerking violently as it did so.
The doors opened to a contrasting reality. It was a 5-star premise with polished marble floors, futuristic wall panels and counters. Smartly dressed employees walked around in heels and briefcases, noses up high with halos of confidence dangling on top of their heads.
"Saya nak cari Agent J", I told the reception. She paged J, barely looking at me. That came with the package of being an undercover secret agent. Not to mention the best.
I took a seat on a posh leather black sofa. It was the most comfortable sofa I've had in years. I amused myself looking at bypassers, waiting for J to appear. The next time I checked my watch, it was an hour later.
"Patience . . .", I consoled myself again. I approached the reception to page J again, in case she forgot.
"Aiyo, mafan lah kamu", I could see it from her face.
It took a good 15 minutes for J to turn up. J was my contact in the agency. I took instructions from J under heavy cover. As secretive as she could get, she passed me some forms to be signed, then she passed me the package.
"This is Little Kina", J said. "You know what to do from here".
Little Kina was an A-Bomb, or AHHH-Bomb. It was designed to deliver a blast so great, that the government had sworn total secrecy in keeping it behind the underground. Literally underground. The target would be totally annihilated and goes "Ahhhhhh!".
I held the payload with great care. The end was even fearfully nearer, in my hands. I was all set to execute Syok and Awe.
D-Day
Eagle's Nest. 10:59
The key to success for Syok and Awe was the element of surprise. Stay low and don't blow your cover. Get in in the blanket of darkness. Plant the payload, detonate, get out alive, and you save the day. You feel syok and the enemy awes at you. That was game plan.
I walked into Eagle's Next with these steps in mind, reciting over and over again like a hamster on treadmills. I hid Little Kina, concealing it well, wouldn't want any arouse any suspicion.
My target was the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord came from the Toilet Dimension, a world made of things you would find in the toilet, including those of organic origin. The Dark Lord vowed to take make us slaves and rule our world.
The government had been on his tail for 10 years. Intel colelcted led to the development Little Kina. If it worked as the brilliant brains thought it would, it would send him back to where he came from. And now it was the moment of truth.
I saw the Dark Lord walking around executing his evil plans. I had to come up with a plan to get him cornered to deliver the ultimate blow. I sent him a text asking him to meet me at a secluded corner to minimze civilian casualties.
He casually obliged, not suspecting that his days were numbered.
"Muahahah ha ha ha", the devil in my laughed out loud. He just couldn't resist.
D-Day
Eagle's Nest, North Wall. 11:30
The sun was up high in the bright blue sky, casting small, round shadows of me on the dry soil. The Dark Lord walked calmly towards me. His breath stinked with a strong stench. I had to tahan, I told myself.
"What ah? si mi tai ji?", the Dark Lord asked in the most malevolent voice.
"No ah no ah, me hoh, got something to tell you . . .", I replied calmly, trying to maintain the element of surprise.
"What jek?", I saw his confused face. He was already one foot in the mouse trap.
"What jek what jek??", he started to get more curious, another foot in the mouse trap.
"Dark lord ah, I got hoh . . . something to give you hoh . . .", I gave him a cunning smirk, confusing him even more.
"What ah?? Present ah?", the scene was set, I was ready to deliver Little Kina.
In a flash, faster than a speeding bullet, I pulled out Little Kina from under my jacket.
"Present your head!! take this . . .", I sang out in a victorious tune.
The Dark Lord looked in horror as he caught Little Kina which I threw at him.
"NOOoooooooo. . .", he cried out loud.
"He he he", I gave a wicked smirk while I pulled out the detonator.
"Why? Tell me why?", the Dark Lord asked, hoping for an answer.
"Because I can . . . ", my words flew like daggers hitting a bulls eye.
I clicked the button, and ducked under a small rock.
"KabooOOoomMMmm . . ."
Home. 23:44
"It's ready", a cold, synthesized, mechanical voice came in hard on my ears. Sound waves echoed violently in my head, bouncing off my brain cavity causing tremors that rocked me hard, back into reality. I hung up my cell and stared out blank.
"It is time", I heard myself saying. It was an eerily dark and warm night. But chills from within me made me shiver, because the end was just around the corner.
D-Day
Secret Armory Warehouse, Somewhere out of town. 08:00
The gates to the armory were tall but rusty, painting the impression of an old abandoned warehouse . I flashed my secret agent badge to a uniform in cigarettes. He opened the gates with a push of the button, barely looking at my face.
"So much for top security", I murmured.
" Trop, trop, trop", the motorized gates opened ridiculously slowly like an ancient drawbridge. It was an utter challenge of my patience. I tapped my feet impatiently on the ground.
"I've waited for days, I can wait another 20 seconds . . .", I consoled myself.
"Eh, sabar lah", the guard saw through my facial expression.
I could only return a fake smile.
"Sakit perut lah, boleh cepat sikit", I was surprised with my impromptu ingenuity in making up stories.
I took the lift down 19th levels. It was a secret facility after all. They say the deeper you get the better chances you get from evading enemy detection. The lift cranked all the way down. Perhaps it was time they greased the chains a little. The descent came to an abrupt stop, jerking violently as it did so.
The doors opened to a contrasting reality. It was a 5-star premise with polished marble floors, futuristic wall panels and counters. Smartly dressed employees walked around in heels and briefcases, noses up high with halos of confidence dangling on top of their heads.
"Saya nak cari Agent J", I told the reception. She paged J, barely looking at me. That came with the package of being an undercover secret agent. Not to mention the best.
I took a seat on a posh leather black sofa. It was the most comfortable sofa I've had in years. I amused myself looking at bypassers, waiting for J to appear. The next time I checked my watch, it was an hour later.
"Patience . . .", I consoled myself again. I approached the reception to page J again, in case she forgot.
"Aiyo, mafan lah kamu", I could see it from her face.
It took a good 15 minutes for J to turn up. J was my contact in the agency. I took instructions from J under heavy cover. As secretive as she could get, she passed me some forms to be signed, then she passed me the package.
"This is Little Kina", J said. "You know what to do from here".
Little Kina was an A-Bomb, or AHHH-Bomb. It was designed to deliver a blast so great, that the government had sworn total secrecy in keeping it behind the underground. Literally underground. The target would be totally annihilated and goes "Ahhhhhh!".
D-Day
Eagle's Nest. 10:59
The key to success for Syok and Awe was the element of surprise. Stay low and don't blow your cover. Get in in the blanket of darkness. Plant the payload, detonate, get out alive, and you save the day. You feel syok and the enemy awes at you. That was game plan.
I walked into Eagle's Next with these steps in mind, reciting over and over again like a hamster on treadmills. I hid Little Kina, concealing it well, wouldn't want any arouse any suspicion.
My target was the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord came from the Toilet Dimension, a world made of things you would find in the toilet, including those of organic origin. The Dark Lord vowed to take make us slaves and rule our world.
The government had been on his tail for 10 years. Intel colelcted led to the development Little Kina. If it worked as the brilliant brains thought it would, it would send him back to where he came from. And now it was the moment of truth.
I saw the Dark Lord walking around executing his evil plans. I had to come up with a plan to get him cornered to deliver the ultimate blow. I sent him a text asking him to meet me at a secluded corner to minimze civilian casualties.
He casually obliged, not suspecting that his days were numbered.
"Muahahah ha ha ha", the devil in my laughed out loud. He just couldn't resist.
D-Day
Eagle's Nest, North Wall. 11:30
The sun was up high in the bright blue sky, casting small, round shadows of me on the dry soil. The Dark Lord walked calmly towards me. His breath stinked with a strong stench. I had to tahan, I told myself.
"What ah? si mi tai ji?", the Dark Lord asked in the most malevolent voice.
"No ah no ah, me hoh, got something to tell you . . .", I replied calmly, trying to maintain the element of surprise.
"What jek?", I saw his confused face. He was already one foot in the mouse trap.
"What jek what jek??", he started to get more curious, another foot in the mouse trap.
"Dark lord ah, I got hoh . . . something to give you hoh . . .", I gave him a cunning smirk, confusing him even more.
"What ah?? Present ah?", the scene was set, I was ready to deliver Little Kina.
In a flash, faster than a speeding bullet, I pulled out Little Kina from under my jacket.
"Present your head!! take this . . .", I sang out in a victorious tune.
The Dark Lord looked in horror as he caught Little Kina which I threw at him.
"NOOoooooooo. . .", he cried out loud.
"He he he", I gave a wicked smirk while I pulled out the detonator.
"Why? Tell me why?", the Dark Lord asked, hoping for an answer.
"Because I can . . . ", my words flew like daggers hitting a bulls eye.
I clicked the button, and ducked under a small rock.
"KabooOOoomMMmm . . ."
D-Day
Eagle's Nest, What Remains of North Wall. 12:14
The earth shook and the sky crackled, followed by utter silence. I stood up to find the the Dark Lord beaten. Little Kina did well. It was the end of the Dark Lord's reign.
I had placed a significant mile stone to the story of my life. I was ready to move on to the next chapter, where greater peaks await to be conquered, and greater evil await to be slain.
Eagle's Nest, What Remains of North Wall. 12:14
The earth shook and the sky crackled, followed by utter silence. I stood up to find the the Dark Lord beaten. Little Kina did well. It was the end of the Dark Lord's reign.
I had placed a significant mile stone to the story of my life. I was ready to move on to the next chapter, where greater peaks await to be conquered, and greater evil await to be slain.
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